Cindy Gallop to agencies: Who's brave enough to run my MakeLoveNotPorn ad?

Don’t just have sex with your partner; fully explore some wetime before goingdutch, dabbling in littleo and frontdoor (softserve optional).

You’ll need Cindy Gallop’s "Licktionary" to decipher that.

The adland maverick’s new language of love was not created as a gimmick or marketing ploy for her company, MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP)—the movement with a single-minded mission to make it easier for every single person on the planet to talk openly and honestly about sex. It was created as a road map for all, one that will ultimately guide marketers to a place where they feel comfortable normalizing sex.

"We’re doing consumers a huge disservice when we do not reflect the world as it really is," said Gallop. "And the world as it really is involves the fact that sex is one of the biggest areas in all our lives. It is so fundamentally important."

What you’re thinking is right: Gallop’s been beating this drum for years. Ten years. But, finally, she’s starting to get through. The tectonic plates under adland are shifting (albeit, still too slowly) to a place where her mission is taken more seriously. People are listening. Brands are asking questions. Market leaders in the sex world like Durex are calling for meetings.

Not too long ago, Gallop was approached by two women passionate about her cause. They wanted to bring the Licktionary to life. 

Nicole Dorsey, an award-winning commercial and film director and member of Free the Bid, partnered with executive producer Chilo Fletcher to create a new campaign for MLNP. 

"The Language of Love" showcases a real couple in bed passing MLNP’s new vocabulary between them, including "lickjob" (cunnilingus) and "owowowheynow" (the word for anal intercourse derived from the recipient’s experience).  

Gallop explained: "The reason this is so necessary is, because we don’t talk about sex we have no socially acceptable vocabulary of which to do so. The language of porn has rushed in to fill that gap because there is nothing else. 

"That’s not good for all sorts of reasons, including the fact that in a male-dominated industry, the language of porn is predominantly male-generated. So the person who coined the term ‘finger blasting’ did not have a vagina. The person who coined the term ‘getting her ass railed’ never got his ass railed. Pounding, ramming, wrecking, destroying—all terms taken from people who do not possess the soft internal tissue to which those things are being done."

Dorsey said of the spot: "Media has such power as a learning tool. As viewers, we can’t help but be influenced by what we see. So when intimacy and sex is defined by images of hardcore pornography, love and consent become skewed. 

"I love Cindy’s message of real-world sex. Not damning the porn industry, but rather expressing that it is a fictionalized reality that doesn’t need to reflect real world sex. You can watch it for entertainment, to get sexy, but you can also hold onto certain values within your own sex life. And so I wanted to contribute to her conversation; showcasing a consensual, loving, sweet and sexy interaction where communication is central." 

Now Gallop is throwing down the gauntlet and challenging media agencies to step up and donate air time. She wants "The Language of Love" to run as a TV spot. She wants it to run online. And she wants it to run in the cinema "because it deserves to be there—it’s cinematic."

Her goal is to have this ad juxtaposed with a series or documentary "that reflects the fact that without this normalization and socilization of sex in the real world, all sorts of very unhappy things happen to people when you can’t communicate effectively."

Gallop is witnessing growing support from women in the industry who want to be a part of her mission. Brands are slower to move, but they are moving. The entrepreneur was recently invited in to talk to Durex about the role it could play in further educating people about condom use (something rarely seen in porn). Gallop wants MLNP to be the global destination for how-to videos for real world sex. There is ample space for brand integration with a company like Durex willing to partner on product demonstration. 

The opportunities for marketers to leverage sex as a tool are seemingly endless. And while many are having these conversations, very few are pushing the green button. Gallop says this has everything to do with leadership.

"Pretty much every brand is male dominated in terms of who managers and oversees it," she said. "I honestly believe that if we have more women on the client side in senior positions I would be getting a lot further with MakeLoveNotPorn, as would other sex-related brands and ventures like me who are also looking for partnerships that will really scale effectiveness for all of us. 

"Because men are part of the status quo, they don’t see the enormous need to change this part of the status quo in ways that it would have a phenomenal knock-on effect in creating more healthy openess around sex that ulimately impacts so many things, including Me Too."