OFF THE VINE: In that other dimension, de Lame sees all

Now, here's cheery news for all you moaners and whingers out there

- you know who you are - who are convinced that there is a conspiracy,

that they are out to get you, that some of your rivals do have an

unnatural and unfair advantage over you.

You're right.

Absolutely.

And here's proof: the photo on the right, of Chupa Chups global director

of communications Xavier de Lame.

The more observant among you might notice something slightly unusual

about young Xavier ... and no, it's not just the transcendental beams of

light emanating from the back of his head, nor the other-worldly glow

that he is basking in.

No, Xavier has the all-seeing "Cyclops" thing happening.

Fans of Lobsang Rampa's work will be familiar with the concept of the

"third eye".

Clearly, Xavier is more familiar with the concept than most.

Chupa Chups has recently embarked on a campaign to broaden its consumer

base to include older kids and young adults, not just the under 12s.

The lollypop giant has employed fast-paced, Japanese-style 3D animation

in its TVCs to appeal to this new target market.

Now, not that Vine likes to give anything away for free, but in the

spirit of Chinese New Year etcetera, we'd like to suggest to Chupa Chups

that it produces a sugar-free version of its candies.

That way, diet-conscious teens and tooth-conscious mothers would swoop

into the fold and make you millions.

Don't say we never do anything nice for anyone. We fully expect to get

into heaven for this latest magnanimous gesture.