PRIVATE VIEW: Mike Cozens, executive creative director of Red-Bates

Having witnessed the Great Cannes Scam Scandal, followed by the

4A's 'Gwei' debacle, I've seen just how easy it is to upset the local ad

industry.

All I can say is thank God most of the selection of work in this issue

of media is from outside Asia. I can safely walk the streets of Causeway

Bay without fear of threat or reprisal, despite my barbed comments.

The first commercial is from France. As far as the Brits and the French

are concerned, the English Channel could never be wide enough.

Merde!

It's a Volkswagen ad. Nobody has ever written a bad Volkswagen ad. Not

even a Frenchman. Double merde! It's actually pretty good. Barman slides

a glass of milk (can't show beer in France) along a bar top. Glass takes

detour around a bowl of peanuts. Cut to man pouring tea. He sneezes and

waves teapot around, but the tea still finds its way into the

teacups.

Finally cut to another man washing his hands. Soap slips from his grasp,

but finds its way back into the soap dish.

End title: "Always being in control of your journey", which probably

made more sense in French.

Meanwhile in Australia, spare a thought for the unlucky British Lions

rugby team who narrowly lost the recent test series, thanks to some

diabolical refereeing decisions. They may have a reasonable rugby and

cricket team down under, but creative teams? Babe's might fly. Everyone

knows they spend all day in the pub drinking Fosters and Jacob's Creek

while whinging about us Poms. Take the Virgin Mobile phone ads. They're

saying all the right things about not getting ripped off by the big

boys. But the 'spoof' ad executions are too much like the real thing.

Where was the creative team when it was being shot?

As fate would have it, my pick of the week is from the UK, for The

Economist, written and directed by Tom Carty, who also wrote Volvo

"Twister" and Guinness "Surfer". Bastard. It tells the true story of how

Nelson Mandela and fellow inmates were able to keep in touch with what

was going on in the outside world during their imprisonment in South

Africa. Outside news was forbidden. They did, however, manage to

convince the authorities that The Economist was "just a magazine to do

with economics". When the authorities eventually found out what was

happening, the magazine was banned. As with the rest of The Economist

campaign, the story is intelligently told, well written and beautifully

directed. Bastard.

Still in Europe, an ad from Germany. Now, they may produce halfway

decent racing drivers and tennis players, but television commercials?

Nein chance. This one for Condomshop.org doesn't disappoint. An animated

penguin stands on an iceberg with three young penguins. She kicks one

off and it's eaten by a large fish. Super. "73 per cent of parents are

stressed". Condomshop.org.

It's scheisse, as they say in Germany.

Finally, two ads from Asia. Why this fixation with lifestyle in this

part of the world? If people in real life pranced around with inane

grins while worshipping a can of drink, mobile phone or shampoo, they

would probably be certified insane. Offender number one is from Thailand

for Heineken. It's that old cliche about two guys in a bar spotting two

girls who they think are trying to attract their attention. Surprise,

surprise, the girls are actually trying to attract the attention of the

barman to order a couple of Heinekens. All this to the sound of the

60s,Green Onions by Booker T and the MG's. Not exactly cutting edge, is

it?

The Pocari Sweat sports drink is at least lifestyle with a twist. A

tennis match but played underwater. I couldn't quite see the relevance

of it, but at least it looked interesting. I'll give the endline,

"Sweat, part of you", the benefit of the doubt. It probably sounds

better in Japanese.

1. VOLKSWAGEN

Project: Mint Tea, Soap

Client: VW France

Brief: Highlight the manoeuvrability of a Volkswagen

Agency: DDB Paris

Creative director: Sylvain Guillomard

Copy writer: Olivier Apeis

Art director: Hugues Pinguet

Production Company: Why Us?

2. VIRGIN MOBILE

Project: Demolition

Client: Virgin Mobile

Brief: Promote Virgin's latest mobile phone offer

Agency: Host, Australia

Art director: The Glue Society

Creative directors: Gary Freedman, Jonathan Kneebone

Production Company: @radical.media

3. THE ECONOMIST

Project: Freedom of knowledge

Client: Demonstrate to potential readers why they need to read The

Economist regularly

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Copy writer: Tom Carty

Art director: Tom Carty

Production Company: Gorgeous Enterprises

4. CONDOMSHOP.ORG

Project: Penguins

Client: Raise awareness for Condomshop.org

Agency: Ogilvy & Mather, Frankfurt

Creative directors: Stephan Vogel, Thomas Hofbeck

Art directors: Joerg Schrod, Jens Frank

Production Company: La Fourmi

5. HEINEKEN

Project: Pub

Client: Heineken Asia Pacific Brewery

Brief: Increase the desirability of Heineken among the 20 to 34 age

group

Agency: Leo Burnett Bangkok

Creative directors: Keeratie Chaimoungkalo

Art director: Chanyutt Boonyagate

Production Company: The Film Factory

6. POCARI

Project: Tennis

Client: Pocari Sweat

Brief: Reinforce the message that the best drink after physical exercise

is Pocari Sweat

Agency: Asatsu-DK

Creative director: Shin-Ichiro Nakaso

Production Company: Level 7 Productions

These commercials are taken from Campaign Screen, the video magazine

featuring the top television ads airing worldwide. For subscription or

advertising enquiries, please contact Roz Parr in the United Kingdom on

44 20 8267-4659 or email her at [email protected].

To submit work to Campaign Screen, email [email protected] for details.