DIARY: Stories we could tell ... Ainsworth takes wicked wit down under

<p>It's a sad day when one of the industry's wits - there are simply </p><p>too few to begin with - finally decides to pack up and head off. </p><p><BR><BR> </p><p>Gregg Ainsworth, he of the eminently quotable quote, will be leaving </p><p>Asia after nine years for Melbourne to consult. A principle of AinsCorp </p><p>Marketing Solutions, he did his time with beverage giants like United </p><p>Distillers and Allied Domecq. Ever one to see the lighter side of </p><p>marketing, Ainsworth poured forth with some gems on hits and misses on </p><p>the campaign front, including his facetious take on grey marketing: </p><p>"Courvoisier Cognac - classic European luxury which prevents brittle </p><p>bone syndrome too!" </p><p><BR><BR> </p><p>On launches that should never had been: Singapore's English-language </p><p>station, TVWorks. "It's a bit like giving the UK another National Health </p><p>Service." </p><p><BR><BR> </p><p>On campaigns that didn't translate well in Asia: a Citroen print </p><p>campaign in Taiwan in the early 90s. "The English copy was written by a </p><p>local and approved by a French client. The core proposition was the </p><p>vehicle's aerodynamic design, but the copywriter referred to it as </p><p>'wind-breaking'. It later emerged that the model was fitted with one of </p><p>the first catalytic converters. </p><p><BR><BR> </p><p>It produced a sulphur-based emission that smelled like rotten eggs." Is </p><p>quiet Melbourne ready for Ainsworth? </p><p><BR><BR> </p>