DIARY: Stories we could tell ... Ainsworth takes wicked wit down under

It's a sad day when one of the industry's wits - there are simply too few to begin with - finally decides to pack up and head off. Gregg Ainsworth, he of the eminently quotable quote, will be leaving Asia after nine years for Melbourne to consult. A principle of AinsCorp Marketing Solutions, he did his time with beverage giants like United Distillers and Allied Domecq. Ever one to see the lighter side of marketing, Ainsworth poured forth with some gems on hits and misses on the campaign front, including his facetious take on grey marketing: "Courvoisier Cognac - classic European luxury which prevents brittle bone syndrome too!" On launches that should never had been: Singapore's English-language station, TVWorks. "It's a bit like giving the UK another National Health Service." On campaigns that didn't translate well in Asia: a Citroen print campaign in Taiwan in the early 90s. "The English copy was written by a local and approved by a French client. The core proposition was the vehicle's aerodynamic design, but the copywriter referred to it as 'wind-breaking'. It later emerged that the model was fitted with one of the first catalytic converters. It produced a sulphur-based emission that smelled like rotten eggs." Is quiet Melbourne ready for Ainsworth?

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