DIARY: Baldwin demystifies marketing with his tongue in cheek

Those of us that have difficulty understanding what marketing is, here's a lesson from Phil Baldwin and the staff at PhiCorporation Marketing: You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm great in bed, how about it?" That's direct marketing. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You pay your friend to say, "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?" That's advertising. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You somehow get her mobile number. You call and chat her up a while and then say, "Hi, I'm great in bed, how about it?" That's tele-marketing. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You pay two friends to stand within earshot of her and talk about how you are great in bed. That is public relations. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You recognise her. You refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?" That's CRM. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl. You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing the gentleman and then you move up to the girl and say, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?" That's hard selling. You go to a party, you see an attractive girl. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed, how about it?" Now that is the power of branding.

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